Onyx and Alabaster
by KateFaulkner24
Summary: So many things are under the surface. So many things under the skin. But I can't tell you any of them, it's hard to let you in. So many things are under the surface. So many things to say, to show you that I care, tomorrow, now and yesterday. Post-Cuffed
1. Heart of Alabaster: Beckett's Song

**Title:** My Alabaster Box  
**Rating:** T  
**Pairing:** Castle/Beckett  
**Disclaimer:** I own not a scratch, or a stitch or sign/ of Andrew Marlowe's grand design./The world of Castle to him belong/I just rent it out to sing my song.  
**Author's Note:** I'm a poet by nature. Not really something I make public, since poetry writing's deeply personal to me. That's pretty much a form of diary writing for me, and the stuff just comes to me when it happens. So, much to my surprise, when I started composing my "magnum opus" of a Castle fic that I will eventually put up (which won't be for awhile, because I want to actually write it and finish it before I put it up; I have a bad habit of leaving things incomplete, and that's not fair to anyone. Plus, I hand write a lot, and this one is becoming a handwriting piece of work...), the words, "But in this heart of alabaster, I'm falling hard and falling faster" decided to pop up. That turned into a poem, and that created one sweet shot of Castle and Beckett in Season 4. Look up the word "alabaster" in Wikipedia and you'll see how cool this idea was for me.

And side note, yes, I do write the disclaimer poems. I do that for kicks and giggles.

And I do wish to thank every single person who has felt the desire to review my work and find it good, bad, ugly, or downright warm and fuzzy. Y'all make this Castle fanatic feel so blessed. Thank you very much!

Please read and review to your heart's content!

**Summary:** So many things are under the surface. So many things under the skin. But I can't tell you any of them, because it's hard for me to let you in. (Castle/Beckett; Season 4, post "Cuffed")

* * *

Another day, another case, another mystery solved. Good stories never got old to her, never failed to stir some sort of feeling of pride, of accomplishment, like she made a difference in the world. Making sense of all the pieces once someone's perfect world had shattered was something like sleepwalking through the haze and coming out in the sunshine. Things fell into patterns, rhythms and rhymes and once you stopped stumbling over them when you find them, fit the right fragments into the right places, it all worked out in the end. So many stories didn't have a happy ending; half of the time, she was able to provide one, and that always seemed to outweigh a handful of dark tales. One of the positive ones balanced out ten of the negatives.

Hayley Pierce's last known associates slipped themselves into file folders, evidence catalogued and accounted for, Kate gripped the foam eraser and started making the words on the murder board disappear. Just like that, the battle was over. The good guys won, and one small voice in the world was finally laid to rest. A small victory in the never-ending war, but she could enjoy this one small amount of peace that she had made a difference.

She could feel more than see the ever comforting presence of Richard Castle, his baby blues trained on her backside with an almost childlike amusement. By backside, she knew it was her actual back, not her rear end, but then again, she wouldn't put it past him to notice that as well. That was ok though; he'd been around long enough, he'd earn the right. And it wasn't like she didn't like the attention anyway.

**_I feel your eyes watching me,_**

**_Trying to crack what you can't see._**

**_But I'm not ready to open yet,_**

**_Can't shake the fear I yearn to forget._**

"Beckett?" He paused, a hitch in his words, and she glanced his way and raised an eyebrow, waiting a few moments for him to continue. "I've… been thinking."

"'Thinking like a normal person' thinking, or 'plotting like an evil mastermind' thinking? Because one is bad for you, and one is bad for me."

"Ha, ha, funny, ha. You know, you could start a comedy act with jokes like that."

"Why do I need that? I got you and the whole precinct to amuse. What do I need a stage for?" Castle smirked, clearly enjoying their banter. Kate packed the rest of the completed case file in the filing box and shut the lid; before she could protest, he slipped his fingers in the side holes and hoisted it to his chest. "I could've gotten that."

"Could've, would've, didn't."

"How gentlemanly of you. Thanks, Castle."

His blue eyes smiled at her, speeding up her heartbeat just a slight staccato faster. "Always." Their steps echoed side by side; his normally were a bit faster, but he adjusted his gait to walk beside her. That was sweet, really sweet.

She wished she said more than just "thanks" sometimes. Billions of things raced through her mind, but not a single one of them felt right to say. She still had so much to sift through and to filter out anything but "thanks" seemed too fast, too soon, to sudden, too… wrong. Well, not wrong; maybe too forward? Too blunt? Too chaotic? Nothing seemed to fit at the moment.

Not to mention his "I love you" complicating things more because she not only had to think of her own feelings, but his now too. It was like the elephant in the room that nobody wanted to talk about but everyone knew was there. And the closer he got, the more mixed up she felt.

**_I crack the lid and you peak in,_**

**_Slip under the mask, under the skin. _**

**_But the person I am is shut up tight,_**

**_Because of the monsters I see at night._**

"Kate? Hungry?"

"Huh?" She'd almost forgotten he was there.

"Where'd you go? Back to Venus or something?"

She was thinking planet Mars, but that wasn't what she really wanted to tell him. "Nah, thought I'd go daytripping in some exotic location where I don't have to hear you talking about how Nikki Heat escaped a trash compactor with only her fingernail file and a pair of tweezers."

Castle grinned, walked into the case closed files and dropped the box off at the "closed" officer's desk, nodding and two-finger saluting him with his right hand. "Thanks," he said, and turned around to glance back at her. "Oh come on, you love it when I monologue about your alter ego."

"I think the only reason why you do is to boost yours."

"Beckett, I am appalled that you think so little of me!"

"Oh come on, Castle. Really? Oldest trick in the book, and I don't write!"

He shrugged. "Ok, maybe, but you can't deny that Nikki is at least a little bit flattering to you. I mean, she's smart, sexy, flirty, knows what she wants. She's like you, yet not like you…" he stopped, and she could see the wheels turning in his head. "I mean… ok, let me get my thoughts back on track."

"Back on track? They derailed. Years ago."

And back to the desk they went. "Come on, Beckett. You have to admit, Nikki's a lot like you, and she knows how to have fun."

"And I don't?"

"Well, loosening up hasn't exactly been your strong suit lately." He bit his tongue. "Though you **are** getting better. I mean, you're better than you were, not going to lie."

She glared at him, not sure whether to be amused or disappointed. "There's a lot going on, Rick. It's not like I'm not trying. I just have a lot to do, and a lot to figure out. Things won't get solved overnight. I need a little time to process things."

**_There's more that I tend to leave behind,_**

**_I can't loosen up, relax, or unwind._**

**_Now's not the time, or the place, or the way,_**

**_For me to say what I've wanted to say._**

Kate's breath caught a little at the slight of his touch, grazing her shoulder in the lightest of sensations. "I know, it's just… Sometimes I feel like you're trying so hard to figure things out that you lose sight of why you're doing it. And sometimes, if you're waiting for things to get better and figure things out, you miss out on all that life's got to offer."

Her hazel-eyed gaze worked him over, trying to find some sort of retort to that, but surprisingly, she came up empty. That stonewalled her, and the more she tried to respond, the more blocked she became. Was she doing the right thing at all, trying to sort out her feelings and getting herself right first, before anything? Was getting it together causing her to miss out? If she took the risk, took the chance, then what? What would happen?

**_But in this heart of alabaster,_**

**_I'm falling hard and falling faster._**

**_And no hand nor ear nor eye,_**

**_Can break the love that I deny._**

**_If Romeo loved Juliet,_**

**_When he hadn't even met her yet,_**

**_How much more will you and me,_**

**_Love each other exceedingly?_**

No. This… this wasn't the way. The more she thought, the more her stomach tied itself in knots. No, not the way, not for her, not now… not for him too. He deserved more than that. And so did she.

**_And this, this alone I cannot quell,_**

**_But this alone I cannot tell._**

"Castle, I'm sure that somehow, everything will work out alright. But all this stuff with Mom, and Montgomery… the shooting. It's too much. I have to deal with all of that, get through it all, before I can move on with my life. Before I'm good enough for anyone or anything positive."

"You've always been good enough, Kate."

"But I want to be better." She smiled back at him, and pulled her jacket from the back of her chair. "There's nothing in the world that I want more than to be better. To be in a better place with everything, and to get there, I have to get through it. Ok? Now, what do you think I'm thinking?"

Castle stared back at her, trying to read her like the books he wrote. "…Chinese. Lo mein and a side of spring rolls."

She shook her head and laughed. "Guess getting kicked out of all those places of higher education did nothing for your nonverbal communication skills."

"Ok. Italian. There's this new bistro that opened up on South Washington that I think you'd die to try. We can get a table with reservations at Vino's, or pizza?"

"Race you to the car."

"You serious?" He paused, then looped his arm around hers and walked her to the door, pleased as punch. "Nah. I'd rather just escort you out. I'm getting too old to be running after every pair of legs I see. Especially yours, if I recall. Yours are killer in a pinch."

She blushed a few shades red, probably more than she wanted to. "Shut up, Castle."

**_There's part of me that wants to trust,_**

**_In something more, something just._**

**_And I'm waiting for you to break the spell,_**

**_Before fear takes me and I repel. _**

**_All I want is your arms to hold me tight,_**

**_To have and to hold, and to kiss good night._**

**_I just can't speak the words I know,_**

**_Or display the love that I want to show._**

"As long as you let me drive."

"…Like that's ever going to happen. Oh, and Castle?"

He looked down at her. "Yeah?"

"Thanks for being my partner."

"Always."

**_But in this heart of alabaster,_**

**_I'm falling hard and falling faster._**


	2. Heart of Onyx: Castle's Song

**Title:** Heart of Onyx (Castle's Answer)  
**Rating:** T  
**Disclaimer:** Castle's voice haunts my brain / And asks me to write again / But to claim him now, I know not what / For Marlowe would come and kick my butt. (Also, I do not own Mountain Dew. Just saying).  
**Author's Note:** WHY AM I WRITING THREE TIMES TODAY?

* * *

Castle: Because I poked your brain.  
Me: I can kill you with my brain.  
Castle: Oooh, and go ninja on some Reavers? I'd really like to see you to that to them Reavers…  
Me: …This is entirely the wrong fandom…

* * *

ANYWAY… Um… yeah. This was a result of me reading and correcting "My Alabaster Box", which was a piece that I really liked, and loved writing, and I took my time in writing it, so it turned out better than I expected. And since Rick's been poking my brain (because CLEARLY, he wants to say something), I decided to let him out of the toy box and give his account of what happened next. Enjoy!

**Summary:** So many things are under the surface. So many things to say, to show you that I care, tomorrow, now and yesterday. (Castle/Beckett; Season 4, post "Cuffed")

* * *

Tangoing with tigers took time to translate between his temples, but Castle was bound and determined to spend a day NOT putting his life at risk. Not like that ever really happened when your best bros were two of New York's finest, and the woman you loved was right in the thick of the world's most wanted. His friends were cops, his muse was a cop, and sometimes when he got himself going, even he thought he was a cop. He worked long hours, slept short nights, and had a steady, cliché diet of donuts and coffee. He rode around in a cop car, even had a little fun with real handcuffs, and tripped up a few no-good, rotten crooks, all for the fictional sake of "research" and for the actual sake of "Beckett". Everything he did, he did for her, whether she knew it or not.

**It started with banter, teases, looks,  
Cuffing crooks and writing books.  
Then one event led to another,  
Romantic moments pulled me under.  
Soon the world wasn't black or white,  
But a kaleidoscope of paints so bright.**

He walked the short distance from the break room to her desk, her new coffee cup waiving smoke signals into his brain to force it to wake up. Whose idea was it to get up at 7AM for another murder board session? Oh yeah, that was Beckett. And speaking of, there sat his muse, furrowed brow, chewing on a pen cap, and alternating being frustrated and extremely frustrated. "Why would Matthew Delabar leave his apartment at 6:09 in the morning yesterday?" she asked aloud, and though he knew better than to answer her open question, he itched to respond. "And where was he going that was so important? He wasn't anywhere near the body when we found it, but he came afterward, and he said he blacked out…"

"Could be a late night with the boys that went wrong," he piped up, trading her empty coffee cup with the new mug of java joe. "You never know."

"Castle, this guy didn't break from pattern. He was on grave shift from 8PM to 4AM every day at the gas station 3.4 blocks from his house. He took a taxi there every day, came home every day, and slept it off. I've got a dozen reports from the neighbors that say they don't see hide nor hair of him the moment he steps across the threshold. So, why break pattern? Why do something out of the ordinary that's going to get you caught or killed or both?" She nibbled the nub and made a face, absently picking up her coffee mug again with her other hand and sipping her refill gingerly. "What do you think?"

She was always so cute when she got like that. God knew he loved her tenacity, her adamant, stubborn, maddening way of biting down on a case and not letting it go, like a bulldog with a bone. She wouldn't give it up, wouldn't give in, and if you tried to take it away from her, you'd be missing a hand for sure. Maybe an arm. He watched her for a moment or two, thinking not necessarily on the case at hand, but at the person trying to solve it. "I think you need to go back to sleep." He yawned. "I think we both need to go back to sleep."

Kate rolled her eyes and gestured to the cup in his hand. "Get another and drink up, Castle. It's going to be a long day."

He hated when she said that. And loved it. And loved her. But he hated it, really. So, to make it less hateful, he started thinking about her instead.

**I fell for your beauty, your charm, your wit,  
And like Legos, we were a perfect fit.  
You made me put my inner child away,  
To be the man that I am today.  
Ready to face what I desire,  
A life together, soaring higher.**

"Ok, what else can we use to corroborate the timeline? Phone records?"

"He made a phone call from his cell phone at 4:30AM, to his wife, Josephine. She told me that he talked about getting off from the graveyard and walking home soon." Kate rose from her seat and rifled through a stack of papers, running a finger down the right one to match her statement. "The call lasted 10 minutes. He arrived at 5:45, kissed his wife good morning, and then left again. Why?"

"Ok, so we know that he was at work until at least 4:30, if not longer. Traffic cams? Can we get a fix on where he went?"

She sighed, frustrated, and walked over to the murder board again, leaned against the desk and stared at it, as if it was a Magic 8 ball that had all the answers. "No. Still too dark, can't make out pedestrians clear enough."

"Crap…" Cup in hand, he returned to the break room, and placed it in the sink, thinking as he went. What could he say to her? That he was getting nothing too? The last thing he wanted was to disappoint Beckett. He didn't want to let her down, someone who meant the world to him. To watch her face fall in resignation was not something he prided himself on doing, and he didn't want that to happen now… his eyes traced the curves of her hips, the smoothness of her jawline, the intensity of her eyes, everything he loved and adored about her when she wasn't looking… No, he didn't want to disappoint. Not him. Not to her.

**In this heart of onyx stone,  
It beats for you and you alone.**

When he returned, something dawned on him. "You said he took the taxi every day?"

"Yeah, why?"

He frowned. "And he works at a gas station? You realize how much money that is?"

Kate's eyes lit up. "You're right, that's too much cash flow out to really keep the family afloat. Attendants, even all-nighters, don't make that much… Blackmail?"

"Possibly. Pull his financials from that night. See what he bought from everywhere, especially from the store he works at. Most employees get a 50% discount on all products located in the store while they're working… that is, if they're not stealing the items first."

She turned and rifled through the papers again, adamant, excited, and awed. "Says here on the night of the murder, he purchased a liter-sized bottle of Mountain Dew, a loaf of bread, and a bottle of aspirin from his own shelves."

He leaned in close, read it all again, and grinned wide. "Mountain Dew? After a full 8 hour night-shift? That sound right to you? Mountain Dew has 55 milligrams of caffeine in it per 12 ounces, one of the largest of any soft drink. Why would he be buying that when he's trying to go to sleep?"

"He wouldn't." She pointed at a photo of the victim's, Danny Truefort's, medicine cabinet. "Look. Do you see what I see?"

Castle nodded. "Diazepam. Also known as Valium. Mix enough Mountain Dew and aspirins in there, combined with the medication, and you're looking at one fatal cocktail."

She glowed. And it sent waves of affection to his already tender heart. Man, he loved this girl.

**My love, my heart, my soul, my joy,  
A person can't break or kill or destroy.  
I'd wait ten hundred, thousand days  
To be the man that stands and stays,  
To show you love with every touch,  
And every look would say as much.**

"I'll call the boys, let them know we're on our way." She grabbed the phone. "You want to warm up the car?"

"You're giving me the keys? Really?"

"No." She laughed a little.

"Tease."

"Easy."

"Katherine Beckett, why I never…"

She rolled her eyes. "Not what I meant, Castle."

"You never mean it. Still doesn't mean I don't enjoy bringing it up." He batted his baby blues at her innocently. "Whatever would you do without me?"

"I don't know. Probably get my job done. Faster." Kate smirked and stared back at him. "What would you do without me?"

"Never. That would never happen."

**Beautiful soul, a shining sight,  
With burning passion, gleaming light.  
What fallen star appears before me,  
And who would I be without thee?**

"Eh, you never know. One day, you might be on your own." She hesitated, as if uncertain, and she furrowed her brow again.

He stared in her eyes and shook his head slowly. "Hey, not going to happen. You're not going anywhere and neither am I. I'm your partner, and I will never leave you alone. You will never have to face anything alone ever again. I'll always be there with you, I promise."

"Promise?"

**Men in the past have come and gone,  
Like ghosts of night, they flee at dawn.  
And the shadows haunting your mother's past,  
Will never endure, and will never last.**

Yes. So much unsaid, yet so much said aloud. He knew she got the point before he replied. "Yes."

Kate's eyes danced. "Ok, then let's go get the bad guy."

And that's how they rolled. And how they always would.

**In this heart of onyx stone,  
It beats for you and you alone.**


End file.
